9 11

I never know exactly how to feel on the anniversary of 9 11. If I feel thankful for my life, health, my family, etc., I feel guilty when I think of those who were robbed. If I focus on those who lost their lives, I realize that dwelling solves nothing, and it's better to move on and help the world keep spinning. I suppose that's the dilemma we'll always be stuck with on this date.

On 9 11 five years ago, I was doing my last morning show for the 80's station in Austin when the first planes hit. It was a frenzy of information gathering once my co-host and I realized what was happening, and since we were covering the story on the fly we were feeling the shock and raw emotion at the same time the world was feeling it. My voice cracked more than once as I was delivering the news. Several co-workers and I huddled around the TV most of the morning, and we went through more than one box of kleenex together.

At one point my cell phone rang and it was my mom who said, "Are you sure you want to drive to Dallas this afternoon?" I had to start my traffic-reporting job on the morning of the 12th, and I had planned to leave Austin the afternoon of the 11th. No one really knew if that attacks were over at that point, so every movement was wrapped in a little bit of fear and uncertainty.

I did drive to Dallas that afternoon, and I've been here ever since. Angela couldn't come to Dallas until late-October of that year, because someone had to stay in Austin and tie up the loose ends with our house, etc. So the weeks following 9 11 for were lonely and scary in more ways than one. My paranoia didn't help much. Every time I got the mail I worried about anthrax, and every time I entered a tall building I wondered if it might crumble. I guess in that way, the terrorists succeeded.

I don't suppose there will be any resolution on this 5th anniversary of 9 11, but at least the communication today will prove that no one has forgotten. 90,000 flags will be waved in the stadium tonight at the Redskins/Vikings game, and fighter jets will flyover the second game of the Monday night doubleheader in Oakland. (Flyovers give me goosebumps, but the actual fighting thing is another matter enitrely. Hurray for flyovers.) Tony and Cappy did their own tribute today. There are lots of ways to acknowledge what happened five years ago. There's no point in dwelling of course, but it's healthy to remember.

On that note, have a great day! There's power in that too.