Teeth-whitening experience gone awry

I've started to use my teeth-whitening gear again. I haven't whitened my teeth since last fall, but when I was in Nebraska last week my parents were whitening their teeth, so I thought it was time to get crackin' again! They inspired me.

The problem is, it's been so long since I've been through the teeth-whitening process, I semi-forgot how to do it. I can only leave this stuff on for 15 minutes because it's nuclear-powered and will turn one's teeth to dust if it has enough time. Or something like that. But I stuck to 15 minutes yesterday and I did the stabilizing rinse afterward as instructed. However, I forgot to follow up with the brush! I should have put some Colgate on some bristles and worked on getting the deadly solution plum off. Instead, last night while I was on the air, I noticed that my teeth felt kinda foamy and that they had a really slick feeling. The bleach was still bubbling! No wonder I was feeling a sensitivity zing each time I took a breath. Once I realized I had forgotten to brush, I immediately had all sorts of visions of my teeth turning to dust piles, or at the very least causing so much pain that I would have to turn mute. I went to my locker and found a toothbrush, and went to the bathroom and scrubbed away. So far, thankfully, my teeth are intact.

The best news is, I was able to drink my coffee this morning without any severe hot-drink consequences. That would have been bad. So I think I survived relatively unscathed! Whew! And now perhaps I won't have to whiten my teeth for another year. Hmm...there's an idea...